Feel What You Feel

I’m having one of those weeks where things just kind of feel “off.”  Nothing specific, just a general feeling, although I did mess up the dates for a birthday party of my daughter’s dear friend and she missed it and I hated that look in her eyes of such disappointment. But even that isn’t the cause of my “funk.”

I had a conversation a while ago with a friend of mine from my college dorm days.   We were talking about my husband working out of state and how hard that was.  I made the comment that I really shouldn’t complain, since Justin’s not in the service where I couldn’t call him when I needed him, he was safe, and he could return home if something happened.  She relayed the following story (it’s been awhile so I'm sure some of the details are wrong): 

There was a Holocaust survivor who had written a book.  Somebody was talking to him and said, “I don’t have the right to complain about my life when I think about what you’ve gone through.”  He replied to her that she had the right to feel what she was feeling.  Pain, difficulties, hardships, joy, happiness, etc. is like air inside a balloon.  Once the air is inside the balloon, it’s all the same, whether it’s my balloon or your balloon.  Your pain (joy, grief, etc.) is yours and is all encompassing because it fills up your balloon.  My pain, etc. is mine and is all encompassing because it fills up my balloon.  They can’t really be compared because they are different. 

In essence, he spoke of “feeling what you feel” and allowing yourself to feel it.  While I certainly have my moments, I try not to be one to “wallow” in self-pity.   Yes, sometimes things in my life aren’t ideal, but in all, I have a wonderful life that I wouldn’t change for anything.  But sometimes, I think it’s okay, even necessary, to feel what you feel, so that it can be processed and experienced.

I definitely think there comes a point where “feeling” your feelings isn’t healthy.  At that point, feeling your feelings turns into “It is what it is.”  I think that’s a healthy place to be.  At that point, less energy is spent on dread/concern/fear/anger and turned into something more productive. 

Wow.  I thought I started this with an idea in mind of where I was going with this, but I’m thinking I’m rambling. I think where I meant to go was that while I’m feeling a little “off,” rather than trying to ignore it, I’m going to try to “feel what I’m feeling” and see where that takes me.