BIG Tower

Austin has totally gotten into building with Legos recently.  He loves to build “beeeeeeeg towers.”  He gets mad when they fall, unless he’s the one who pushed them down!  Here’s a big one he build in my office the other day.  (I just LOVE the head tilt in the picture he posed for…he’s so dang cute!). 

53 Mondays–Thanksgiving Recipes

For our contribution to Thanksgiving, I made Dressing and pie.  For the dressing, I made a very loose adaptation from Bobby Flay’s Sourdough, Wild Mushroom, and Bacon Dressing. 

Sourdough and Bacon Dressing: 

1-1/2 pounds sourdough bread, crusts trimmed, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (apx 12 cups)

Salt and Pepper

3/4 pound bacon, cut into 1/2-inch dice

1/4 onion, VERY finely diced

3-5 cups low sodium chicken broth

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

3 Tbsp finely chopped fresh sage

2 Tbsp finely chopped fresh thyme leaves

1/2 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Spread the bread on a large baking sheet, stirring a few times, until lightly golden brown, apx 12 minutes. Remove and let cool.  When cool, put cubes into a very large bowl. Increase oven temperature to 375 degrees. 

Put bacon in a large, high-sided pan and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and the fat has rendered, about 10 minutes.  Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon to a plate lined with paper towels. 

Remove all but 2 Tbsp of the rendered fat in the sauté pan and place back on the stove over high heat.  Add onion and cook until soft, apx 4 minute.  Add 3 cups of chicken stock  and herbs.  Season with salt and pepper, and bring to a simmer. 

Add the bacon to the bread.  Add the onion/stock mixture, egg, salt and pepper, and gently stir until combined.  The dressing should be very wet, add more stock if needed.  Scrape the mixture into a greased 13 x 9 x 2 inch glass baking dish. 

Cover with foil and bake for 20 minutes.  Remove foil and continue baking until the top is golden brown, about 40 minutes longer.  Remove from oven and let cool for 10 minutes before serving. 

Child Labor?

Anyone know the current child labor laws?  I’m thinking that I may have broken at least one of them today.

I didn’t feel too badly, since as excited as they were to help, it quickly turned to this:

No thank you.

I’ve been working with my 2-year-old, Austin, on saying, “No thank you,” instead of just his usual “NO!” or “Don’t Want It!”  The cute little stinker actually said it to me yesterday.  It was not, however, the great thing I was expecting it to be since his reply came after I said, “Hey buddy, let’s go upstairs and you can take a nap.”  Yep.  His reply was, “No thank you, mom.  No thank you.”  It’s a start!

A Moment of Awe

Photo borrowed from National Geographic.

Tonight I was flipping through my copy of “O! The Oprah Magazine” tonight and came across an article titled, “The Wonder of It All.”  I was intrigued.  It was about “awe” and what that does to us and what that means to us. 

“Awe is what we feel when faced with something sublime, exceptional, or altogether beyond comprehension.”  Dacher Keltner, PhD, wrote a book titled Born to be Good and he examines more nuanced sensations, such as compassion, forgiveness, humility, and awe, are what push us beyond self-interest and “wire us for good.”  Cultivating awe, he says, is part of unlocking the truest sense of life’s purpose. 

The article discusses an experiment where he had two groups of subjects answer self-assessment questions, such as “I am…” to see how people see themselves.  He had the first group answer questions while facing a full-sized replica of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and the second group answered the questions while facing a hallway.  The result was interesting. 

The group that answered while facing the T. Rex were three times more likely to describe themselves as part of something bigger than themselves (“I am…part of the human species”) than those who answered facing the hallway (“I am…a soccer player”).  Dr. Keltner’s reasoning was that awe inspired the feeling of something bigger than “me.” 

We should look for moments to experience awe and generally, when we experience it, we want to share that with others. 

This got me thinking to my own feelings of awe.  I’ll say getting married in the temple was definitely an awe moment, as was the moments when my three children were born. I mean, what other word can describe that moment when this little bean who was seconds before inside you takes its first breath and is now a this little, breathing, real person with feelings, thoughts, emotions, and OPINIONS.  Awe is the best word to describe that.  That makes sense, as awe is associated with an increase in oxytocin, a bonding hormone. 

“Awe sends the signal…that clears the way for altruism, generosity, and acts of kindness.”

Aside from the birth of my children, I have one really strong memory of awe from quite awhile ago.  I was at the Omnimax at Caesar’s Palace (an IMAX theater).  Sitting in the theater before the show started, there were small lights on the screen around us in the darkened theater.  I remember sitting there very peacefully and imagining as if I were in the heavens looking at the universe, possibly at the formation of planets or Earth even. 

I had this weird, “My mind cannot comprehend this” moment trying to comprehend that there was never a beginning or an end to us, just a change of scenery, if you will.  It’s a little difficult for me to put this in words.  Before life here on Earth, we were…in Heaven and will return there when we pass from here.  But there was no start to our “existence” in Heaven, nor will there be an end.  Kind of mind-blowing.  AWE!

53 Mondays–Maple Salmon

MAPLE SALMON (recipe from “Keeping Up” Cookbook)

6 (6-ounce)salmon fillets

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup pure maple syrup

3 Tbsp soy sauce

1 Tbsp Dijon mustard

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 cup sliced almonds

Place salmon in a 9” x 13” greased baking dish.  Combine sugar, syrup, soy sauce, mustard, and pepper.  Pour mixture over the salmon. Cover with foil and bake at 425 degrees for 10 minutes.  Remove foil and sprinkle with almonds. Bake an additional 10 minutes or until the fish flakes easily when tested with a fork.  Serve hot. 

I love salmon and this recipe did not disappoint.  It had a gentle maple flavor, but the Dijon really cut down on the sweetness and it was really good. 

Once again, the “Favorites” Cookbook did not disappoint (“Keeping Up” is a follow up to “Favorites”). 

Oh no! Poor Woody!

Alright…here’s the story.  We decided to put up the Christmas tree.  We were inspired and put it up tonight after dad took off. 

Got out the boxes of ornaments and mom went to the task of taking out the carefully wrapped ornaments for the kids to hang on the tree.

I was so excited when I found Buzz and Woody sitting on a present.  I went to go show Austin when I noticed this:  (cue scary background music)

Uh oh!  I tried to move it, but Austin saw it.  He said, “Oh no!  Woody’s head!” I promised him I’d fix it with some glue, but just tried to make him think of something else so I looked for other things for him to play with. 

Like the tractor ornament. 

It would work for a minute, but every third comment was, “Oh no!  Woody’s head!”  Kinda ruined the atmosphere, ya know, with Woody being beheaded and all. 

First chore of the morning will be to find the Gorilla Glue!  Poor Woody

Some scrapbook pages

     

Asperger Syndrome…What it is and what it isn’t.

For a little background on my little Aspie, see HERE. 

When Tyson was diagnosed, I bought a few copies of the book, “Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome: A Guide for Family and Friends,” to help me explain what it is. 

“Having AS (Asperger Syndrome) means I have difficulties with some things that most people don’t have trouble with.  My main difficulties are with what some people call “social sense” – understanding and getting along with other people easily.”

“If I feel confused about what people are doing or what I am expected to do, I might be afraid to join in with games even if I want to be friendly…I might only want to play if I decide on the game and choose the rules.  This isn’t just me being bossy.  It’s because I feel safer and less confused if I make the rules.” 

“Most people with AS have sensory issues.  It is different for everyone.  Some feel pain that most people would interpret as light touch.”

“The main way you can help me is by realizing that I have AS, and being sympathetic.” 

So, what is Asperger Syndrome?  The official statement is: 

Dr Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician, originally described Asperger’s Syndrome in 1944. The syndrome has more recently been classified as an autistic spectrum disorder. Children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome have an intellectual capacity within the normal range, but have a distinct profile of abilities that has been apparent since early childhood. The profile of abilities includes the following characteristics:

• A qualitative impairment in social interaction:
  • Failure to develop friendships that are appropriate to the child’s developmental level.
  • Impaired use of non-verbal behavior such as eye gaze, facial expression and body language to regulate a social interaction.
  • Lack of social and emotional reciprocity and empathy.
  • Impaired ability to identify social cues and conventions.
• A qualitative impairment in subtle communication skills:
  • Fluent speech but difficulties with conversation skills and a tendency to be pedantic, have an unusual prosody and to make a literal interpretation.
• Restrictive Interests:
  • The development of special interests that is unusual in their intensity and focus.
  • Preference for routine and consistency.

The disorder can also include motor clumsiness and problems with handwriting and being hypersensitive to specific auditory and tactile experiences.

The characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome described above are based on the diagnostic criteria and current research and have also been modified as a result of my extensive clinical experience

From my clinical experience I consider that children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of thinking. The person usually has a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people. There is also a different perception of situations and sensory experiences. The overriding priority may be to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others. The person values being creative rather than co-operative.

The person with Asperger’s syndrome may perceive errors that are not apparent to others, giving considerable attention to detail, rather than noticing the ‘big picture’. The person is usually renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice. The person may actively seek and enjoy solitude, be a loyal friend and have a distinct sense of humor. However, the person with Asperger’s Syndrome can have difficulty with the management and expression of emotions.

Children and adults with Asperger’s syndrome may have levels of anxiety, sadness or anger that indicate a secondary mood disorder. There may also be problems expressing the degree of love and affection expected by others. Fortunately, we now have successful psychological treatment programs to help manage and express emotions. (Tony Atwood, MD)

So, that’s the official version.  Here’s the mom version: 

It is not autism.  It is on the autism spectrum and as such, there are common issues among Aspies, but like fingerprints, no two are alike. 

It is not an excuse when he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else.

It is a reason to remind him that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. 

It is not an excuse to yell at his sister who is making her herbivores live with her carnivores.

It is a reason to remind him that she’s using her imagination and that’s great. 

It is not an excuse for not playing well with others in big groups.

It is a reason for the anxiety that comes from playing with others in big groups.

It is not an excuse to for his poor handwriting because he’s being lazy.

It is a reason why his handwriting isn’t as clear as everyone else’s (fine motor skills).

It is not an excuse to expect less of what he is capable of doing.

It is a reason to evaluate my expectations when I’m not getting the results I want. 

It is not an excuse when he is mean to others.

It is a reason for pointing out specific situations to him where he didn’t act appropriately. 

It is not an excuse for the decline in his behavior when he is overly tired.

It is a reason for the decline in his behavior when he is overly tired. 

It is not an excuse for getting him treated differently. 

It is a reason for understanding his needs and helping him fit in when he doesn’t. 

It is not an excuse for breaking down when he doesn’t get his way.

It is a reason to take the time to better explain the situation to him.

It is not an excuse to love him less.

It is a reason to love him more.  

 

I try very hard not to use Asperger’s as an excuse for Tyson.  I have never even told him of his diagnosis.  I don’t want him treated differently and I don’t want him to think he’s not “normal.”  He has come a LONG way in the past few years since he was diagnosed, but it a work in progress.  I strongly emphasize WORK.  It involves teaching and explaining and, above all, loving. I don’t want my son treated differently than his peers, but there does need to be the acknowledgment that he does have some different needs that he has no control over and there do need to be some accommodation for those needs. 

Thanks

 

Thank you, mystery flower sender! 

Blogging Therapy

I’m feeling a little broken today…okay, a whole lot broken today.  No, I’m not feeling sorry for myself and no, I’m not looking for your sympathy.  I’m writing this for myself…a little blogging therapy, if you will. So, if you don’t want to read on, then don’t.

 

I have an issue that I am a writer.  I’ve always loved writing papers in school (sick, I know).  I love the comfort that comes from being able to pace myself and think things out in my brain.  The problem comes when the issue is emotional.  I HATE confrontations. I hate putting anyone in that position where they might feel they are being attacked.  I hate thinking that my words could hurt someone.  I take one look at the person I’m trying to confront and my girly emotions come to the front and I can’t talk.  I don’t say anything I mean or anything I want to say.  Usually, I just keep it in and do anything I can to not hurt someone else. 

Keeping things in has issues all its own.  They add.  They fester.  They remember.  They hurt.  Oh, they hurt.  Eventually, they become too big to keep them inside and something will let them flow.  I’m not a quickly emotional person.  I don’t tell you how I see it and then later apologize if I’ve offended.  I’m the other type.  I keep it all in until I can’t.  In that case, sometimes the issues get blurred and the situation that triggers the flow is really more of a smaller issue of a bigger problem.  Irritating?  I’ve recently been told it is. 

I recently had a situation that hurt my feelings and it involved more than just one person.  The situation was stupid, but my feelings are not.  I chose to confront in the best way I could, and that was to write to them.  I addressed everyone at the same time.  I didn’t place blame on any person.  NO one person was called to blame and I felt I did a good job attacking the situation without attacking a single person by calling them out.  I really hoped that those I addressed would know me well enough to know that my feelings really weren’t hurt over the one “so, so stupid'” incident, but more of a feeling of things that have accumulated.  I could NOT have been more wrong. 

I’m not sure exactly what I expected to happen, but I certainly didn’t expect to feel so attacked.  In hindsight, I DID start it.  I honestly did not attack a single person.  I attacked the situation.  I thought my feelings and thoughts were important enough to warrant that.  Was I wrong?  With those we love, don’t we want to know when we’ve done something to offend?  I do.  I still do. 

I’m not blameless.  Not at all.  I am so FAR from perfect.  I know that.  I’ve never claimed perfection or even anything remotely close to it.  I’m just a girl who is trying to do the best she can.  I make mistakes.  I make lots of mistakes.  I’m sure I’ve hurt people along the way.  I can’t even put into words how that makes me feel.  Hurting someone I love is painful to me.   

I spent a great deal of time with my eyes full of tears and my heart full of pain.  And I haven’t felt so alone in a very long time.  Sleep was hard to come by last night.  I kept wondering if I just should have kept my stupid mouth (or in this case, my fingers) shut and not said anything.  According to the way the day played out, yes, I probably should have, but I didn’t.  And in return, I opened myself up.  I can’t blame anyone other than myself here.  I opened myself up for comments.  I opened myself up for thoughts.  Apparently, that also meant I opened myself up for hurt…a lot of hurt. 

My heart is full.  My pain is immense.  My devastation is all encompassing, but luckily, this too shall pass.  I’m broken.  I’m at the bottom.  Do I regret sharing my feelings?  No, but I MOST certainly regret that it was misinterpreted and caused pain. 

Holiday Portrait Card Special

Thought I’d pass along the holiday card special my sister-in-law, Amanda, and I are offering: 

October Wrap-Up

53 Mondays

Panera’s Creamy Potato Soup

Adapted from Lynn’s Kitchen Adventures

6 cups chicken broth

6 cups potatoes, peeled and cubed

1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper

1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika

1 (8 oz) cream cheese, cut into chunks, room temperature

4 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled

Combine broth, potatoes and spices. Boil on medium heat until potatoes are tender. Smash a few of the potatoes to release their starch for thickening. If you like it smooth smash more, if you like it chunky just smash a little of it. You can decide the texture of it. Reduce to low heat. Add cream cheese. Heat, stirring frequently, until cheese melts. Ladle into bowls. Sprinkle a little bacon over each bowl of soup.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had Panera’s version, but this was alright.  I added the paprika and LOVED that little kick.  I don’t know if I did something wrong, but the consistency was neither smooth or chunky, just a little of both.  That was a little off-putting, but the taste was good. 

53 Mondays-Week 41? Meatloaf—yes, you read that right!

Today’s recipe was by The Pioneer Woman.  I bought her cookbook after cooking several wonderful recipes from her website.  Not a meatloaf fan myself, I was intrigued by her LOVE of the stuff.  This recipe seemed easy enough, so I gave it a try.  You know what?  She was SO right!  This was so good.  I am a convert.  My only change is that the bacon I put on the top was thick.  I would use thin bacon next time (and there will be a next time) so that it crisps up.  I halved this recipe and there was still more than enough for Justin and me.  Give this a try! 

 

MY FAVORITE MEATLOAF

Recipe and Photo from The Pioneer Woman

Meatloaf:

1 cup Whole Milk

6 slices White Bread

2 pounds Ground Beef

1 cup (heaping) Freshly Grated Parmesan Cheese

¼ teaspoons Seasoned Salt

¾ teaspoons Salt

Freshly Ground Black Pepper

⅓ cups Minced Flat-leaf Parsley

4 whole Eggs Beaten

10 slices Thin/regular Bacon

Sauce:

1-½ cup Ketchup

⅓ cups Brown Sugar

1 teaspoon Dry Mustard

Tabasco To Taste (I didn’t have any so I didn’t add)

 

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour milk over the bread slices. Allow it to soak in for several minutes.

Place the ground beef, milk-soaked bread, Parmesan, seasoned salt, salt, black pepper, and parsley in a large mixing bowl. Pour in beaten eggs.

With clean hands, mix the ingredients until well combined. Form the mixture into a loaf shape on a broiler pan, which will allow the fat to drain. (Line the bottom of the pan with foil to avoid a big mess!)

Lay bacon slices over the top, tucking them underneath the meatloaf.

Make the sauce: add ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, and hot sauce in a mixing bowl. Stir together. Pour 1/3 of the mixture over the top of the bacon. Spread with a spoon.

Bake for 45 minutes, then pour another 1/3 of the sauce over the top. Bake for another 15 minutes. Slice and serve with remaining sauce.

Serve with mashed potatoes. Yummy!