I AM…..

I’m going to miss the Oprah Winfrey Show for a number of reasons, but among those is the many opportunities she provided to help us become better.  One show from a month or so ago has stuck with me. 

Tom Shadyac, multi-million dollar director had an awesome life.  He directed such movies as Bruce Almighty and The Nutty Professor.  He lived in a mansion, flew in private jets, drove fancy cars, etc.  Despite these many luxuries, Tom says something just didn't feel right.
"I was standing in the house that my culture had taught me was a measure of the good life," Tom recalls in his documentary I Am. "I was struck with one very clear, very strange feeling: I was no happier." 

After a brush with death, he set out on a journey to find out what would truly make him happy and help unearth what's wrong with our world.  He made major changes to his lifestyle. Today, Tom lives in a modest mobile home, bikes to work and flies commercial airlines—and he says he's never been happier.

He has filmed a documentary, I Am, about his findings from research and explorations. 

What he discovered revolves around three key concepts that are explored in I Am:
1. It is scientifically proven that the entire human race is connected.
2. It is human nature to be cooperative rather than competitive.
3. If you don't do what your heart wants you to do and follow your passion, it will destroy you.

It’s the second concept that has stuck with me.  Competition is all around.  Who’s prettier?  Who’s wealthier?  Who has the biggest house?  The nicest car?  The biggest diamond?  Whose kids are better?  Who has more trophies?  Who has the best behaving kids?  So many things to be competitive about.  So many opportunities to show we’re better than someone else.  So many opportunities to hurt someone else. 

During natural disasters, the stories that tug at my heartstrings, the ones that are the most memorable are the ones where real people emerge as heroes, helping each other.  Even in less dramatic circumstances, who won’t help out a neighbor or friend after a baby was born or someone has surgery, etc.?  That’s human nature.  That’s what matters. 

In our culture, despite us being a democratic society, cooperation is discouraged.  We should work as a team, but only so much as it gives us the opportunity to stand out from the crowd.  Be an MVP.   Don’t get me wrong, competition CAN be healthy.  It encourages us to strive to be better…to do our best.  That’s good.  It’s when we become competitive trying to make us ABOVE others.  Not just trying to stand out in a crowd, but trying to be so much above the rest that the crowd ceases to exist.  

So, who AM I? Who are YOU?  Whatever I am, it never feels like enough.  Not in a bad, feeling sorry for myself way, but in the way that I feel there is always something to improve, to work on.  It gives me inspiration.   I am…….

The Power of Geese

I read this when I started college just a mere few years ago.  Okay, more than a few years ago.  I’ve kept this handy and read it on occasion. 

 

Fascinated by the conduct of flying geese, Dr. Robert McNeish, wrote "Lessons From Geese" for a sermon in his church in 1972. Demonstrating the power of a good idea, his essay spread and has become a classic statement of the importance of teamwork.

Fact: As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Fact: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

Fact: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact: When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

Fact: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. 

 

Mathematically, 1+1=2.  Synergistically, 1+1=3.  For example, you can lift a 10-pound weight with your right hand and a 10-pound weight with your left hand, but when you use both hands to lift weight, you an lift more than just 20 pounds.  Don’t believe me?  Try it! 

We’re better together than we are separately! 

It’s Within Me

I have a friend whose blog entry today, “Keep Smiling,” really hit home with me.  She got it right on when she stated that everyone has struggles.  While my struggles may seem small to you, or yours to me, that doesn’t make them less valid.  I may not be struggling with (for example) divorce, unemployment, health problems, etc., my struggles are as all-encompassing to me as yours are to you. 

Dawn so beautifully points out that struggles will always be a part of life and that we can endure them by focusing on the good.  Hence the “keep smiling” part.  It sounds so simple and so difficult at the same time.  Some days the good is so obvious that it’s easy to focus on it.  It’s when that “good” is more difficult to find that it is probably the most important time to find it. 

At the risk of sounding like Pollyanna, I really believe that there really is good in every situation, maybe not on the surface, but it’s there.  Take, for example, a friend of mine who has a HORRIBLE disease.  There is NOTHING good about this disease.  This person is honestly sweetest, kindest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met.  This disease is hers not because she did something wrong, but just because it’s hers. 

Where’s the good in this, you ask?  It’s there.  Maybe not for her, although I’m sure she’s thankful for many things still, but I know I’ve benefitted from her disease.  I have learned to really appreciate life.  I mean REALLY appreciate each day, even as dull and mundane as some are. 

I’m also certain it’s in YOU too.  You can find the good within the bad.  Try it!

Do You Mind? Or Do You Matter?

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.          ~Dr. Seuss

I love quotes.  Sometimes, other people can say things much more eloquently than I can.  I’ve been thinking about the above quote…a lot… for the last few weeks and wondering if it’s true or not.  I’m thinking that it sounds good on paper, but really, I think it’s really easy to “matter” and still “mind.”

If you’ve managed in life to never get your feelings hurt by someone you care about, raise your hand.  That’s what I thought.  I think it’s very easy to speak your mind to those who do matter and have them mind.  So, if they do mind, does that mean that person doesn’t matter?  Or does it mean you really shouldn’t really speak your mind to some people or about some things because people will mind?

My self-esteem and self-worth have taken a bit of a beating recently by some things that were said.  So, that above quote has been rattling around in my brain.  I’d like to think that I matter and that I just happened to mind too.  I repeat, that’s what I would LIKE to think.  Maybe not what I’m feeling just yet. 

I have written and rewritten the remainder of this blog entry three times now. The two previous attempts have left me sounding horribly depressed and rambling.  I can’t say I’m still not rambling, but I am not horribly depressed.  Really, Mom…I’m not. 

That said, I do have feelings.  I wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes. And the downside of that is that when my feelings get hurt, boy do they get hurt.

I’m glad I have people in my life who help me remember that I DO matter.  Thank you for that!

The Power of Our Thoughts

A few months ago, I read an article about “John of God,” a man living in a remote area in Brazil who performs miracles.  People flock to him to cure them of all sorts of illnesses and diseases, etc.  Most miracles are performed via “invisible surgeries,” without touch, but some involve a man who is not a doctor cutting into a person often with nothing more than a dirty kitchen knife. 

that’s enough to make me quiver with fear.  For many who visit him, he is their last resort.  He does this without charging people.  He does it because he feels he has a gift that he is supposed to share. 

How a malignant tumor disappears or how a blind person sees after visiting “John of God” is a question without an answer.  Is it a miracle?  Is it faith? Is it a sham?  I don’t know.  There are reports of him performing eye “surgeries” on people where he scrapes cells off the surface of their eye without any sort of sedative or without any sort of pain relief.  The “patient” sits there letting him scrape cells off their eye(s) sitting perfectly still.  That alone is unfathomable to me! 

I do, however, know the power of our thoughts on our bodies.  Our brains are such amazing organs.  Our brains and our thoughts can make things happen to our bodies.  As someone who loves psychology, having earned a degree in it, I have learned of so many psychological disorders that just fascinate me. 

One of the most remarkable is a conversion disorder, where real symptoms occur that are so indicative of a real disorder where that disorder does not exist in that person.  For example, I type medical reports for some pediatric neurologists and come across many pseudo-seizures, where patients present with such typical seizure characteristics, complete with convulsions and all.  When given an EEG, no record of brain wave activity is found. 

The patient is NOT faking their convulsions.  Their body is having convulsions and very real signs.  However, they are not having an epileptic seizure.  Often, when digging for reasons for them, there is often an underlying factor, such as anxiety or stress, etc. there. 

Some times, your brain/mind cannot handle what is going on and it just “snaps,” for lack of a better word.  It is amazing and incredible, fascinating and a little bit scary. 

Given that your mind/thoughts can create symptoms of something serious, I believe that it is also possible for your mind/thoughts could be possible of curing some things.  I absolutely leave room open for miracles…for the divine interference in these amazing circumstances.

My reason for writing about this/thinking about this now is because I’ve been thinking a lot about things under our control and things not under our control.  I cannot control how people think, act, or feel, but knowing how thoughts can become real, I can choose to try to make my thoughts worthwhile.  I know how people’s thoughts can affect me, so it makes me want to be a person whose thoughts work for good and not evil (and I also wish for world peace…my beauty contestant moment here). 

Also knowing how thoughts affect us, I can choose not to let other’s thoughts alter who I am…who I know I am.  Good and bad, our thoughts are so powerful…so wonderful…so amazing…so incredible…so painful…so hurtful…so damaging.  I’m challenging myself to have thoughts for good, to look for good, to think good.  Do you want to challenge yourself? 

From the article:  “What is it we're hoping for when we ask to be healed? To lose an attitude that's holding us back? To lay down a psychic burden? Is it, simply, the ability to be happy at all times? "To learn to love ourselves," Heather had said earlier in the week, "that's the lifelong work." Whatever was going on in this town, it was in service of that goal. Maybe we couldn't fully understand the process yet, but that didn't make it less real. "It's like this," Zsolt told me. "A hundred years ago if someone showed you an iPhone, you wouldn't have believed it. Everything is always progressing. We know so little and our senses are limited, so limited." If you aren't open to the mystery, in other words, you'll never glimpse it. In Abadiânia that veil between the seen and the unseen is a tissue-thin paper full of rips. It is a place not only where miracles happen, but where no one thinks that is unusual.”