Most Devastating "Injury" - Book of Me Entry

My most devastating injury? Aren't they all devastating? Maybe it should be called my most life-changing injury. Even then, it could be hard to choose. I've had more than a few.

When I was in high school, the summer before my senior year, I was in a pretty serious car accident. I broke my pelvis in four places along with my left humerus (upper arm). I spent the last month of my summer in the hospital. I spent three weeks in the rehab ward at UMC in Las Vegas with people a whole lot older than me. The typical patient was a recovering stroke victim. I was called, "the baby." It was quite a learning experience for me and not just the physical part of learning to walk again and be independent again.

I learned a lot about myself during that time. I think that's because I was alone a lot. I had a lot of visitors, but life goes on outside the hospital too. I learned sheer devastation and discouragement, but I also learned that hard work pays off.

I was in another car accident between my first and second years of college. A drunk driver made a U-turn in front of me and my car ended up crashed into a power pole. My injuries weren't too significant, but I suffered a herniated disk in my neck and migraines for months after.

In 2006, we moved to Utah and were showing off our new house. While in the basement, I stepped backward into a metal 2x4 and completely severed my Achilles tendon. You know you're in trouble when people come to visit you in the emergency room and say, "Can I take a look? I heard you have a crazy injury." Gee, thanks. That one backward step has affected the last 3-1/2 years of my life. It was an incredibly painful injury to recover from. INCREDIBLY painful. Since the original surgery in Aug 2006, I've had 3 more to try to get more back to normal.

That one truly was lifechanging, but alas, not my most devastating.

In August 2008, I gave birth to my incredible baby, Austin Jack. It was such an incredibly easy delivery, almost a blink and you'll miss it delivery. I wish that was the end to this story, but if it were, it wouldn't be included in this list. What happened next is why this is my most devasting injury.

For whatever reason, probably a placenta acreta (the placenta grows into the uterus), I hemorrhaged uncontrollably. I remember the look on my OB's face when she asked, "Have you and your husband talked about having more children?" The end result was that I had an emergency hysterectomy and several blood transfusions. My new, healthy baby and I spent a week in the hospital for the most perfect delivery.

The physical damage healed, but the psychological damage took longer. While Justin and I weren't planning on having more children, it was hard to have that option taken away from me. For weeks afterward, everytime I was alone, I would just cry. It was such an emotional thing. So much of being a woman was physically removed. Yes, it was to save my life. I'm so aware of that and forever greatful that I'm here still, because it was so bad. But those wounds took a lot longer to heal.

Sometimes when I see a pregnant woman, it makes me a little sad, but in some ways, it's made the question of whether or not to have more children easy. We know we're done.

As time has passed, I'm at peace with this loss. I'm thankful for a wonderful doctor who saved my life. I'm thankful for my darling, albeit occasionally psychotic, children. But, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, it was my most devastating and hope nothing comes to take its place!